Martin McMarty

Martin McMarty is the head football coach at Alanland University.

In 2013, McMarty faced accusations of watching basketball, which is not the sport that he coaches.

In an interview with APR News, McMarty expressed confusion that football players wear weird spandex pants, while basketball players just wear shorts. He also noted that someone wearing a football uniform would look out-of-place at Pfangle. As a result, Alan Corcoran appointed McMarty head of the Sports Uniform Standardization Commission.

McMarty's standard uniform consisted of a polyester poncho, in white for home teams and black for away teams, with piping along the edges in the sports team's distinctive colors. Beneath the poncho is to be worn black gym shorts and team-colored socks. Shoes are to be any fluorescent color the coach likes, though orange is recommended as default.